Behold, the cutest vacuum cleaner in history — actually, hold on

LIVION Mini Desk Vacuum Cleaner, also Suitable for Keyboards (USB/Battery Powered) – Red

— Oh my god a PUPPYYYYYYYY
— Can we get it can we get it, I promise to feed it and walk it and–
— Oh wait, it’s a vacuum cleaner?
— Still precious tho
— Can we get it and can we get a puppy and teach the puppy to vacuum with the tiny vacuum, can we can we

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Arguably even cuter, though perhaps too cute

Holy crap even cuter

I feel like I’m the last person to know this huge world of cute tiny vacuum cleaners exists

Behold, the cutest vacuum cleaner in history — actually, hold on was originally published on


Knock knock, dumbass

Knock Knock WTF Nifty Notes

— This seems very obviously jokey, but the longer I look at it, the more moments I recall in which this might have been useful
— And now you feel the same way, don’t you
— I mean the guy who sits in the cube next to you, he alone probably is worth at least one pad of these things
— I feel like I would check the “Stop It” box nearly every single time I’d be moved to leave one of these
— And probably “Give me a break” if I can pick two boxes (I guess no rule that I can’t, right, it’s not a web form)
— IDEA: Email-able web form that just totally steals this idea, causing the person who made this pad to mail me a sheet from this pad in which “Seriously—WTF?!” and “Stop It” are checked

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Gift idea for the guy in the cube next to you (gift it anonymously of course — he’ll never know it’s you)

Bit more on the nose here


Knock knock, dumbass was originally published on

For sale: a Covfefe Gamecube vinyl that somehow already feels staler than an actual Gamecube

Covfefe Funny Quote Design Pattern Image Gamecube Vinyl Decal Sticker Skin by Trendy Accessories

— One of 500,000 uninspired #Covfefe items that someone crapped out as quickly as they could, thinking that THIS for sure was the big break that would make them rich and turn their stagnant life around
— Surely no one else had the same id—oh no, everyone had the same idea
— In fairness to this item, it’s probably true no one else had thought to include Gamecube vinyls in the gold rush
— Too bad it’s ugly as shit
— Like seriously, even just take one minute to find another font or color or something

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Why even try if this is the effort you’re gonna put forth

Now writing a 134-page paperback book in one day, THAT’s how you get my attention

See? EFFORT, just a little

For sale: a Covfefe Gamecube vinyl that somehow already feels staler than an actual Gamecube was originally published on

A cuter way to make the same caffeine joke you made six times last week

Magic Morning Coffee Mug, Yellow 12 Oz Heat Sensitive Color and Face Changing Ceramic Tea Cup, By Chuzy Chef

— Kinda like the 10,000 coffee mugs you own with cute sayings about how you’re incapable of containing the drool in your mouth until you’ve had your morning coffee, but without those incredibly lame phrases on them
— This one conveys the same message but in a cute and arguably poignant way
— I bet you could write a 10,000 word thinkpiece on the poignance of this fucking mug
— But not until you’ve had your coffee, AMIRIGHTGIRRRRL :hands in air emoji:

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Somewhat vaguer statement, though perhaps a better option if you like clowns?

You drank too much, now you got the jitters, now you’re writing a screenplay no one wants to read


A cuter way to make the same caffeine joke you made six times last week was originally published on

“I love nature, that’s why I kill it and hang it from my ceiling”

Rustic Elk 12 Antler Chandelier with 12- 2 Watt Soft White LED Candelabra Bulbs Included (Retail $8.99 Each)

— Stop being a basic white girl who hangs a deer head on the wall like everyone else and get this instead
— If you don’t consider how many deer died so your garage “wood shop” you never actually make anything in has some lighting, it IS kinda pretty
— $300 for shipping though? What the fuck?
— Optional $124.39 for “expert installation” — in which case, why can’t this expert just bring it with him when he installs it, saving me your $300 shipping fee? Fuckers

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FREE SHIPPING! Take notes, assholes

$75 shipping, which at least is reasonable

In case you like deer and want a deer-related lamp that isn’t made of their heads ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I love nature, that’s why I kill it and hang it from my ceiling” was originally published on

Get your own upside-down American flag pin

Official Upside Down American Flag Pin

— The photo is upside down for some reason, but this is an authentic upside-down American flag pin just like the one Donald Trump Press Secretary Sean Spicer wore on TV
— No idea if this picture was taken by an upside-down camera or if the picture was taken in Australia but the photo is definitely upside down
— You can buy a box of 50 of them but be careful, some of these pins will appear right-side up if they get loose in the packaging. (Don’t worry, it’s easy to turn them back upside down as intended)

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Show your allegiance to the nation of Copland

Why is “under God” in quote fingers? Is this a sarcastic pin?

Perfect tribute to that one night I got so drunk I vomited a flag

Get your own upside-down American flag pin was originally published on

Get your Nintendo Switch crap here (and here and here and—)

Nintendo Switch Secure Game Case — Mario and Zelda Editions

— Screen protectors, bumpers for your controllers, weird cases that hold three games, stands for your stands, we got it all
— Everything must go! For real, we mortgaged our company’s future to jump on this bandwagon
— Do you need a $50 backpack specifically for your game console that you can carry alongside your other backpack for everything else? No? This was a huge mistake? Shitshitshit

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Please buy this backpack, we made so many of them

There’s already a kickstand on the system, just so you know

In case you drop your controller a lot or love the Pittsburgh Penguins for some stupid reason

Presumably these work with more than just a Switch, but it’s a new console and we all know what Apple did last year so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Get your Nintendo Switch crap here (and here and here and—) was originally published on